Thanks to judicious eBay fu, this won't be my fate. However, I worry about my ex-wife: that many tons of rotting Beatles memorabilia, vinyl albums, and assorted junk are going to be horrific if the police and fire department have to haul it off to reach her if it avalanches.
One of the second-hand bookshops in Cheltenham seemed, so far as I could see, to have been established by filling a house entirely with old books and magazines and then judiciously removing just enough to leave a network of tunnels. In the event of a minor earth tremor I could imagine the fate you describe befalling the owner, and indeed any unlucky customers...
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MC
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I see a Great Need for a parody of Alive.